The above tattoo is a Condesky drawing. They liked the shape of it.
This above tattoo is inspired by the artist Alexander Caldair, who does mobiles. It is a combination of the mobiles and a watercolor-style tattoo.
This is a “Sunflowers” tattoo done at Kerry Burke Hendersonville NC tattoo parlour. “Sunflowers” is a homage to Van Gogh.
Pisces symbol.
The “Cupid’s Undie Run” is a fundraiser for kids with tumors. Bearer’s brother has a condition called NF (Neurofibromatosis). This tattoo stands for No Fear of NF. This is a family tattoo: sister has “No Fear” across her ribs, mom will get it on her wrist, and dad will get it on his back.
Each bird represents one of their kids. Five kids, so five birds.
A tattoo of lilies. This was the start of a big piece when they were dating a tattoo artist.
Lotus tattoo. They got this tattoo for 18th birthday. The Lotus symbolizes balance and adaptability. The lotus can grow anywhere. They stated, “It’s a good reminder.”
Nook’s last name is Hawk. The Hawk tattoo represents their family name. Nook has a brother with a version of the Hawk tattoo.
The RNH is Nook’s fathers initials. The graveyard is connected to the ancestors, that the Hawk is watching over.
Due to the awkward location of the interview, I did not get much information on the “H.” I am guessing the H represents the Hawk family.
Little Nook got this tattoo to follow in the in the family line of Hawk tattoos. The idea was keep the tattoo going in the family.
The Hawk family is from Kentucky. The Hawk is placed on Little Nook to watch over Kentucky.
I was unable to get the meaning of I-XXI. I believe it is referring to Job 1:21 — “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”
This is part two of my adventures in getting a camera put up my ass. Check out part one if you feel like it here.
I will give some advice on the clear diet. Do not eat or buy any jello. Jello tastes awful. Get your self some bone marrow broth, Ginger Ale, and that is about all you need.
Look at it as a fast day. Close to the end of the day you drink this nasty crap, and you poop your brains out. My poop turned light yellow which is normal.
During my fast day. I got a stomach flu. I have never pooped so much. I was so sick I thought about rescheduling. This would mean I would owe the doctor money, and I would need to do this diet thing again. I decided I am going to go and they will need to send me home if I am too sick.
I remember being really scared when they hooked me up. This was the first time I had been knocked out by a doctor that I can remember. I think I may have asked them not to hurt me right before I blacked out.
I came to farting my ass off. I think the guy must have said something about investing with Bettermint, and I was trying to tell him to use Robinhood.
My girlfriend(Dimsom/Domestic Partner) went into my room and picked me up. I was basically fine. Except that I was recovering from a stomach flu. I could walk and talk normal. I should have been allowed to call an Uber. I was though very glad to have my girlfriend pick me up.
Test showed me all clear. Glad its over with.
I went LARPing(Live Action Role Playing) this weekend. I have not LAPRed in over 8 years. It was strange to go back. My nephew wanted to try it and I though it would be a good excuse to try it again.
I started LARPing maybe around 2005. I only know this because one of the plot people like to start the LARP. He would say “my daughter is only 14 years old”. She is 26 now, so I am just guessing on time line.
By playing at a LARP. I made incredible friends I still have to day. I also learn a lot about myself. As I am not really a people person LARPing was very difficult. You have to create this character and become this role that you created. As I am not the most extroverted person. This pushed me in brand new fun ways.
The issue was at the end. I really liked being myself. So I would go to the game just and just monster the whole time. This was fun as I would get to see some friends, and get a good amount of exercise.
When I stopping LARPing. I was starting to feel this incredible sadness each time I would go, and while I was there. The best description would be that feeling right after you finish eating a whole pizza, or maybe that feeling when you realize you just did the last whippets from a box of 24. Just felt regret.
The straw that broke the camels back, and why I had to leave. I went to the bathroom late at night. Someone had thrown a paper towel in the toilet bowel. I know this does not seem like much. I believe everyone was told when they were young. Dont throw paper towels in the toilet. This is just an asshole move. You backup the toilet then no one can use the toilet. Shows a complete lack of respect for people. It seems like a small thing, and it was. It was just the last note to tell me I needed to not go back.
Through the years I have talked with friends that LARP and I would say. Haha maybe I should try it again. It used to be a lot of fun.
My nephew asked me if I would take him, I said yes. This would be a good excuse to see how my memory lined up. Could it be as fun as I remembered it being. Could it be all of the fun things, without all the sad things.
This is were I started to think of LARPing like Prozac. I had a buddy that did a lot of Prozac. He described the experience like this. Well you see you are this personalty. You have all these issues you cant really handle so you take Prozac. Then its great you are this brand new personalty, and you dont experience all your old problems. Then as you keep taking Prozac. This new personalty gets its own brand new problems. You cant really handle any of these brand new Prozac personality problems. So you decided to stop taking Prozac. Well that would be great except your old No-Prozac personality has all of its old problems you could not handle which is why you started taking Prozac in the first place. Well then you try and comment suicide. NOTE: If you feel depressed get help call 1-800-273-8255.
I kind of see LARPing like that. I went back I did not get that sadness. I got happiness. I got see some old friends. How they changed. I got to see my nephew have tons of fun.
I dont really understand people. AKA kind of why I started this blog to help me think and see people. The people still doing LARP. Why do they keep doing it. I ended up understanding it does not matter. This was an experience I already had. I completed it. There a lot of things I want to be doing in life. LARPing helped immensely in who I am today.
I would most likely not be writing this blog were it is without LARPing. I took a comedy improv class and want to do more with this. I have all kinds of new adventures I want to go own, I feel LARPing helped me down the road. I can not even state all the ways LARPing changed my life. I just now know I dont want to go back.
I guess sometimes going back helps you remember there is a lot of new fun things you need to be doing today.
Lay on.
The angel tattoo on Sakura’s back was the first piece they ever got. The tattoo is a fallen angel bound at the hands. The metal pieces on his shoulders those are what bind his wings. Sakura loves the angle’s emo hair. Sakura got this while in the Marines during Comm School in 29 Palms.
Sakura was raised in a very Christian household, but values had never aligned with the church on a lot of big issues. From the time they were young, until they became an adult. Sakura used to have terrifying nightmares of being sent to hell. They wouid wake up screaming at least once or twice a week. No one in their family really asked them why. After being on their own as an adult for a bit. Sakura said fuck it I want to fall and did. This tattoo may have come from a dark place. As Sakura has gotten older they find it more and more beautiful.
Sakura’ said would like to have it touched up soon. Maybe next year.
The Wolf Sigil tattoo. Sakura got this tattoo while stationed in MCAS Miramar. Sakura and their brothers wanted to get “wolfpack” tattoos with our friends after one of the hangover movies came out. Sakura chose this design because of the video game character Cloud from Final Fantasy 7 who wore it on his armor in the movie Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children. Sakura always identified with Cloud who dealt with schizophrenic like symptoms, hallucinations, false memories, and not knowing who he was. That really resonated with them even before they were diagnosed as Schizoaffective Bipolar. They remember having this desire to find themselves, and overcome their battles. At the time Sakura drank heavily every night, and was losing time. They would black out and couldn’t remember where they were becoming periodically catatonic. Sakura could not get a good night sleep to save their life. This tattoo came during that time which was shortly before they decided they wanted to kill themselves. It gave them the courage to call their Gunnery Sgt and tell him something was wrong. Sakura was sent to mental health where they started their journey to getting better.
The “You Cant Die Yet” tattoo is made to look like self mutilation wounds that are closed with stitches. On top of each stitch is the initials of one of their family members, and on the last stitch are Sakura’s initials. Down the center are the words “You can’t die yet”. Sakura got this after getting out of the hospital for suicidal ideation. Sakura thinks the meaning speaks for itself. Made more of an effort to connect with their family because they needed their support. Sakura said as they get older sometimes they wish they could change the initials to people who are more family, than their actual family. At the time this tattoo was exactly what they needed it to be. Sakura wouldn’t go through with changing them, although they might add one or two more if possible.
The Cherry Blossom sleeve. Sakura got this tattoo right before they started their gender transition. Cherry Blossoms have always represented beauty and fragility of life, death, and change. The idea was perfect for how they were feeling at the time. Sakura decided to become their true self. Sakura thinks Its probably their best tattoo, and one of the most meaningful to them. Jax at Apex Tattoo Factory in Apex NC did this one. He does beautiful line work, and they get compliments on it all the time
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